i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
