so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
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