Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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