Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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