Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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