maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
