Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
