if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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