I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sext me about skeletons
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
