Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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