well he's currently spooning the coffee table
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
