P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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