She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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