Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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