Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Someone came in the potted fern
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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