Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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