The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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