But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
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Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
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it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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