She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
