You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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