Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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