pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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