There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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