R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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