What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
only you would photoshop your dick
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
