That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
