Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
