White coat. Heels.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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