Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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