I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
