My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
