i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
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I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
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Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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