i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
