hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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