I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
