allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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