I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
