don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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