I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
