I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
soo... how was my night?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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