I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
