You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
