This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
