All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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