Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
