i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
