dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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