Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
