i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
