you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
