your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
