I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize