How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
