I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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