how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
