Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
