it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
