when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Do vagina's smell?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize