I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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