I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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