if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
