im holly from the hills drunk
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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