My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
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