OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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