Tell her she can't have a vagina
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
